Once again Happy Thanksgiving to all of you looking in from the US and the standard hello for everyone else in the world.
I'm not going to get religious on you this morning. I won't. I won't mainly because I am nowhere near where I need to be with HIM. But I will say this: I was feeling about as low as I could feel about writing and publishing over the past seven days or so. Those of you who tune into my blog regularly know about my struggles with overcoming what writers term as the Critical Voice. This voice tells you that what you are writing is crap as you put it down. It tells you that no one will read it once you publish it. It tells you that if they did they didn't like it. And it never fails to tell you that you are wasting your and everyone else's time.
I've been locked in a battle with it my entire adult life. I've let it steal years of productivity from me. And even after I made a small come back with the publishing of the first three episodes of Where are our Children-it jumped on me big time last week.
I managed to get a chapter done yesterday.
I think what I saw this morning though was far more important.
So far, Children only seemed to me to be getting downloads at Smashwords only. My two sports articles continue to do well at I tunes. In fact they get nearly double digit downloads over there everyday. People are right down the middle on whether they agree with me in my assessments on each subject but that is okay. My only point is to present my argument well. Those downloads tell me that I did that much right.
Children, on the other hand, has done nothing on I Tunes. maybe that will change. Ultimately, fiction is my first love. It is eventually what I am banking on for long term success. There are non fiction projects ahead but fiction will either make what I do here, or break what I do here. I don't have anything selling on Amazon, Google Play wasn't showing downloads and Kobo is in the single digits in downloads period since I started publishing there last month.
But like I said in an earlier passage, I think I saw something this morning that was very important to me.
I looked at my profile at Goodreads. That's nothing new. I look at it and all my other info across the net daily. But HE led me to look as an item I had never noticed before when I looked at the site from my phone.
Anyone who has been to the author's sections there will notice that if any of their work has been recommended that the data for that book is there next to all your other stuff. Well, all six of my writings are there. I always knew that. I always appreciated that fact. What I didn't see is HOW MANY times they've been recommended. The children series is getting nearly 2 recommends a day since their publication. Rapture has more recommendation than it does downloads on Smashwords. I wondered how that was possible.
I have to remember that Smashwords is a global distributor. My (and everyone else who publishes there) stuff is going globally. It is in libraries and at sites that I have never heard of. My trade paperback editions (especially of my first three works) is also selling SOMEWHERE.
Boy, did I need this. I really needed the assurance that someone...somewhere is reading my stuff. It means so much to me and I thank you all.
I know if I'm completely past my crisis but I feel a lot better.
So much better that I'm off to complete another chapter of Past Prologue when I'm done here.
Like I said at the beginning: I'm not going to get religious on you this morning. I won't. I won't mainly because I am nowhere near where I need to be with HIM. But I will say this: I was feeling about as low as I could feel about writing and publishing over the past seven days or so.
Sometimes He does work in mysterious ways.